Divorcing Your Old Self: How to Attract Joy in Your Life After Divorce

Smiling woman

If you feel as though you are in a downward spiral as a result of your divorce, you’re not alone. Whether you finalized your divorce last week or decades ago, it may be time to get another one.

“Another divorce from who?” you’re probably wondering. Nora Ephron once said, “Marriages come and go, but divorce is forever?” So, what gives? Following a divorce from your spouse, the person you must divorce next is you. The old you, that is. Allow us to explain.

Understanding the Law of Attraction

Most of us have heard of the Law of Attraction, the principle by which everything in our lives manifests. According to the Law of Attraction, our beliefs influence what, and who, we attract into our lives. Because the Law of Attraction is constantly in play, training ourselves to pay close attention to our thoughts and then shift them when they become negative can significantly impact the quality of our lives.

Everything in the universe is made up of energy that vibrates at a particular frequency. As intelligent, living organisms, our vibrations can change based on what we focus on. In other words, if we interpret what someone says as an insult or a slight, for instance, we will likely respond to that person based on this belief, setting the energy of our entire interaction in motion.

How the Law of Attraction Can Impact Your Loved Ones

Depending on who you’re interacting with, the effects can have long-lasting consequences, especially as you parent after your divorce. Children often look to their parents for cues about how to feel or act. If you’re constantly in a bad mood, feel bad about yourself, or bash your spouse, your kids are likely to pick up on that negative energy and give it right back to you. Depending on the ages of the children involved, such behavior may manifest as temper tantrums, outbursts, disobedience, or depression.

If, on the other hand, you make a conscious effort to come down the stairs each morning with a smile on your face and a positive attitude, your children will pick up on that as well. The same principle applies to the relationships you have with love interests and platonic friends. If you’re not having much success in your dating life and continually attract partners who don’t treat you well, a part of that may be because you’re not treating yourself well or don’t believe that you deserve to be treated well by someone else.

Similarly, if you find yourself surrounded by individuals who hold grudges or have chips on their shoulders, it’s possible you’ve adopted a similar worldview and have attracted like-minded people to you as a result.

Attracting Positive Change

  1. The first step toward changing who you attract is to identify the negative energy around you and cut ties with it (or them).
  2. Next, you need to take a good, hard look at yourself and consider why your feelings are so negative. Are you sad? Are you angry? Are you insecure? Why? If you need assistance evaluating your feelings, it can be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional.
  3. Once you have identified your thought processes, you can then go about changing them. The best way to do that is to surround yourself with people and objects that lift you up, put you at ease, and make you feel good. You may also find it beneficial to spend time in places, whether a particular room in your home or a locale outside your house, that improve your mood.
  4. Finally, seek out and engage in activities that bring you joy. When you surround yourself with the people and things you love, you’ll be surprised how quickly like-minded people will enter your life – those who share your positive outlook and enjoy spending their time in much the same way you do.

People often say, mistakenly, that opposites attract. But more often than not, when you scratch the surface, only their superficial traits are dissimilar. The truer statement is that like attracts like, and when you like you, others will, too. So, divorce yourself, (your old, negative self, that is). Guaranteed, it will be the best divorce you’ll ever have.

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